10.26.19 - week 26
on life as a parent (so far).
i’m allergic to giving parenting advice. for sort of the same reason i don’t give my thoughts about losing weight or building an email newsletter. just because things seem to be going well right now, doesn’t mean my strategies will work for the long haul. kristen + i have been blessed with 3 sons (10, 8, 6) + a daughter (2). we want to train our children well and teach them the things of god, but also don’t want to find our significance in them or treat them as more important than each other. we want to love them well, but not idolize them.
the 3 things that have worked well for us so far are kind of perfectly encapsulated by this picture below.
this is from a huge halloween (or for kjv’ers, a harvest party) i threw while a youth pastor. we rented a warehouse across the street from our building, created an indoor haunted house, had some kind of crazy karoke deal, grilled corn, and had treats. it was amazing. and here i am mid-party with 300 teenagers around, holding my son.
include – this was a huge night for me. we had a giant party with 100’s of teenagers and lots of components to run and oversee. but kristen + i wanted our kids to be involved. we have never wanted them to be off to the side, but rather right in the middle of our lives observing and learning. our kids hear me take phone calls, know some of the situations we are dealing with, and are allowed to know about big decisions (moving, new job, house to buy, etc etc) while in process. my reason for this is that most worthwhile learning comes from observation.
invest – show me your time + money, those are your priorities. spending your resources to create experiences that shape children’s memory and you bind your hearts together. these costumes were expensive to my recollection, but every time this picture comes around, it reminds carter that we are in this together. we work to take trips, do fun things, and mazimize the years we have them in our care at home. every thursday morning, i take the kids to a little bakery near our house before school and each of them gets to pick a song while we drive. could i get cheaper treats the night before? sure, but the rythmn of that time together unlocks their hearts and brings out some of our most in-depth conversations.
instruct – kristen regularly walks the kids through a devotional or bible verse at breakfast. it’s not a long time and often frustrating, but it’s a discipline. i work hard at finding something every day in the world to reinforce biblical truth. lately that might have included antonio brown or botham jean or mayor pete. rather than seeing spirituality as a component of life, i aim to incorporate it into everything. the transition to public for our kids the last few months has actually helped with this. we now get to contrast world motivations for success with biblical ones. although living by faith is more impactful than talking about it, we still must open our mouths and instruct our children.
for now these strategies are working pretty well and we pray that they continue to build giants to the glory of god.
KG Korner
(a few wise words from lady kristen macdonald)
Tears, fever & pain for baby girl mean lack of sleep, snuggles and aborting my original plans. We are so good at having a good attitude and trusting the Lord when things are going our way but when the plan gets thwarted by the unexpected what’s in our hearts tumbles out. Our hearts are quick to get fearful & worrisome & angry and walk down the long hallway of ‘what if’s’ rather than trust that this audible so to speak was allowed by the creator of the universe.
If 2019 has taught me anything it’s that prayer works and has power and even the simplest prayers prayed from our lips are heard by God. When my heart has wanted to endlessly worry, fret, and fear today I have come back to this simple plea:
“Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.” psalm 61:2-3
I know from His past faithfulness that he as immovable and steady as a rock and because he’s my Father he knows better than me. He has been a safe place that isn’t altared one bit by my concerns but brings comfort and peace when I pursue his presence.
When I think about a ‘strong tower against the enemy,’ my imagination takes me to an old castle where I am at the very top lookout tower. The enemy has no way of getting to me because he would have to get access through the mote, the other securing knights, and the tightly secured iron locks before he could get to me.
Sometimes life doesn’t feel like that but rather that the enemy is my neighbor or coworker or ______________________. But that’s what scripture likens our God to - a rock, refuge and strong tower- none of which fail and neither does he.
I’m sure there’s a circumstance coming this week that you aren’t expecting or might even see coming. When that blindsighted feeling comes may you offer up the same prayer and see how God meets you -
“Lord, lead me to the ROCK that is higher than I.”
Cup of Leadership
we spend far too much energy trying to be interesting. the actual impact and virtue of our lives comes from what others get from us, not their enjoyment or intrigue in observing us.
put the focus on real knowledge + true virtue + actual insight. allow others to get the temporary gains found in being too loud or overly edgy.
let others comment on the news and choose to understand it.
cultivating a persona is a bit like buying a boat on a credit card. you end up with something now that you really didn’t earn, will come to regret, and inevitably leads to a loss of respect. focus on being someone worth listening to and having something to say, not trying to seem like either.
Book Review
there is perhaps nothing more hilariously millennial than the trend toward fasting from things other than food. only our messed-up lives could equate something like ‘media’ as being so necessary as to create desire for god from its absence. but anyway, this book. so well written conceived. simple instruction on the necessity and practice of fasting. i am working to build this into a strong practice in my life (although of course i won’t be telling you – lest i lose my heavenly reward). highly recommend it, it brings a difficult concept down to a relatable level.
Podcasts This Week
in case you missed it - part 3 of the joseph series + as well as a tale from the 405 w. my -friend- acquaintance mr heath hatmaker. it would certainly be a great help to me if you clicked the link and left a rating and review.
3 Things I Really Liked This Week
1. i have read a lot about the cycle of addiction, but rarely from the perspective of an addict. this article is illuminating and heartbreaking in equal measure.
2. drew holcomb has become one of my favorite artists since i first heard his music at an incredible Ravinia concert a few years ago .. really like this fresh profile of him in rolling stone.
3. every year I build a playlist of new music .. this years has tons of great songs on it, would love for you to check it out.